First, a list of all the things I feel is wrong in my life:
1. My job
2. Working with family
3. Lack of good friendships / physical presence of friends
4. The fresh absence of certain people
And a list of all I can do to fix it:
1. I can't really change my job yet because it would be unethical to do so (I don't have the time to explain that right now). I can only live with it and make the most out of it. Think of Russia. OK.
2. Number 1 guarantees I can't change this either.
3. Darlene will be back in a week. August is rolling around, too, so I get to see the girls soon. I can also try searching for new friends, though I don't really know what avenues I have for that. I need someone I can actually connect with and have fun hanging out with, who is physically in this city. I mean c'mon, everyone deserves that. I need it for my sanity.
4. I can't really do anything about this one either. Everyone deserves it.
More things I can do to help fix this:
1. Get a hobby (that D80 has been sitting there forever - anyone know where I can get photography classes in Iloilo?)
2. Exercise. Because that will get me off my butt and healthier.
What I really want to do is:
1. Live away from home.
2. Get a job I actually enjoy.
3. Have my friends nearby.
- None of which I will actually really get.
I know all the "shoulds" but nothing feels right. I really don't know what to do with myself for now. Someone save me please.
2 comments:
i too know that it can get ugly once your alone , especially when you bonded well with your siblings and they have to go some where else and those kind of things that make you happy just goes away, but you know at some point we need to open our doors , we`ll never know, maybe the one person you though that could`not be the person that makes you happy, is really the person that could , life is full of surprises ,we just have to open our doors, welcome anyone who wants to try to help us, we might not know what could occur but we can hope for the best , friendship after all is meaningless with out opening up ,
Your optimism's contagious. Thanks ;)
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