if loving's giving

"You've got to love yourself if you could ever love me..."

The damned Lifehouse song has been playing over and over in my head and I can't seem to get it out. I have to admit it's had me thinking though. To a certain extent I guess I agree with that line. But then again, experience seems to say loving yourself and loving another, both completely, rarely go together. We're human - imperfect people loving other imperfect people. At first, we get one little smile from the object of our affection and everything comes up roses for days on end. As the relationship progresses, a smile may be romantic but now it's gotta be coupled with an actual bouquet. The longer we are with someone, it's only realistic to acknowledge that we expect more from the other person. I don't know, maybe it's because we like to believe that by then they know us better and can predict what we might want.

Loving till it hurts is good, but it never ends well. The "hurt" part makes sure it doesn't end well. And maybe Kens and Stepford wives can love and just go on loving without wanting to be loved back, but not the human heart. I don't know why. Let me know when you find out.

One great thing about being human is the ability to forgive, and the capacity for unconditional love. Some of us know that it's not what we get out of it but what we can put in, and I think that's amazing. But this mindset can be deadly, too, especially when we're pining for someone who just isn't there, and who we know won't ever be.

What I'm trying to say is: if all else fails - like the way to get rid of that annoying song that just isn't healthy anymore (for your sanity, of course) - the best way to heal a heart's to start humming a different tune.