reason why

I hate how my mind seems to be working all the frickin' time. Part of the reason why most of my blog entries circle around trying to make sense of things. I can't sleep at night. It's tiring.

When I get upset I spend hours thinking of why I'm upset and why I shouldn't be so that I'm not anymore. Like all the brave and the foolish, I use my head to control my emotions. Why do I expect too much? Why do I give too little? Why am I here in the first place? How do I make up for it? Is there a God? Why does my mother piss me off so much and how can I make sure I never turn into her? Whatever happened to that dream I had? Is there ever a right time to say goodbye? Is true love just once in a lifetime? Did the captain of the Titanic cry? (Yeah yeah, Mandy does it better.)

And all the things left unsaid!

I have a confession. I have a confession, I have a confession, I have a confession to make.

Pardon me. I didn't get any sleep last night.

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On a happy note, Ra-ra-rasputin (lover of the Russian queen) is still playing gayly in my head. And in my mind my hands are still waving to "Come now citizens of the world... We are one... We are one." Don't you just love karaoke?